Last night was one of those nights.
12:30 am, my 18 year old young man became my little boy again. Sobbing on the side of my bed, telling me he wants to hurt himself. He cried he wanted to die. All the praying in the world that I do for him, some days seem useless. He sobbed and sobbed. I asked him if he needed me to take him to the hospital, and he said he might need to. I KNOW he is bad when he says he might have to go. (he has had numerous hospitalizations over the years for suicide attempts and anger...and NONE of those hospital stays are good memories for him) We talked for a while. He cursed God for making him this way. I told him, reassuringly that God has amazing plans for him and his life, but he doesn't believe it. The sobbing continued and finally I asked if he wanted to sleep in my room, next to my bed. He said yes, and grabbed his blankets and made a little cocoon next to me. I could hear him sniffle a little while longer until he finally fell asleep.
Kevin hasn't wanted to take medication (he has been off of it for 3 years now) because he hates feeling like a zombie. But, I think it is time. I want him to feel better. There is only so much I can do to keep him above water, and it's not working anymore. Please pray for him. He is a wonderful young man with a tough road. I know how hard he works everyday, TRYING to be as normal as he can. I love him more than life itself...but there is only so much Mom can do.
|Kevin's Drawing...he is amazing!|
|This was a HUGE backdrop he drew and painted for us on Halloween as part of our Haunted Walk|