Last night was one of those nights.
12:30 am, my 18 year old young man became my little boy again. Sobbing on the side of my bed, telling me he wants to hurt himself. He cried he wanted to die. All the praying in the world that I do for him, some days seem useless. He sobbed and sobbed. I asked him if he needed me to take him to the hospital, and he said he might need to. I KNOW he is bad when he says he might have to go. (he has had numerous hospitalizations over the years for suicide attempts and anger...and NONE of those hospital stays are good memories for him) We talked for a while. He cursed God for making him this way. I told him, reassuringly that God has amazing plans for him and his life, but he doesn't believe it. The sobbing continued and finally I asked if he wanted to sleep in my room, next to my bed. He said yes, and grabbed his blankets and made a little cocoon next to me. I could hear him sniffle a little while longer until he finally fell asleep.
Kevin hasn't wanted to take medication (he has been off of it for 3 years now) because he hates feeling like a zombie. But, I think it is time. I want him to feel better. There is only so much I can do to keep him above water, and it's not working anymore. Please pray for him. He is a wonderful young man with a tough road. I know how hard he works everyday, TRYING to be as normal as he can. I love him more than life itself...but there is only so much Mom can do.
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| Kevin's Drawing...he is amazing! |
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| This was a HUGE backdrop he drew and painted for us on Halloween as part of our Haunted Walk |
My AS son has the same name as your son and he just turned 21 3 days ago. My heart goes out to these boys who do not have friends and spend so much time alone. How I wish they could find friends.
ReplyDeleteYour son's drawing is amazing. I hope he uses that talent more. Will he be studying art in college?
It is sad. His biggest problem is his lack of friendships. He spends all of his time at home, but he will cry that he has no friends outside of the family. Kevin is presently taking high school classes on-line. He should have his diploma by the summer. (fingers crossed) He really wants to do something with nature. As a kid, his "obsession" was birds. We used to call him a walking encyclopedia of bird information! :) But, with his social issues, I am just not sure what he could do. His art has always been a HUGE escape for him. He mainly does digital art on-line and it is amazing! God has a plan for him, we just don't know what it is yet! Wish we were closer! I meet so many fantastic families with AS kids (my 6 year old is VERY severe, as well) But, I honestly can never find anyone local for my kids to spend time with. How is your son now? Is he in school?
DeleteMy son is at the local community college. He is presently thinking about majoring in Engineering, Computers, etc. and they start right away with the classes (those "core" classes are now gone and you must start doing your major the first year).
ReplyDeletehttp://momsofspecialneedschildren1.blogspot.com/
Scroll down to "Trials and Tribulations" on the right sidebar to read about our son. We have been through it all and some how we have persevered and he is doing well in college (keep your fingers crossed).
Your son can take classes online for college. My son takes some of those and really likes them. I just took one from Notre Dame to keep my teacher's certification up. :)
I hope this makes sense because I'm typing this without my reading glasses on. Got to run. Church starts soon. :)